no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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