when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
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It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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