I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
