Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize