Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
