So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
