I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
