Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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