Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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