Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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