All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
