i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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