Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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