big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
