I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize