areolas are like halos for boobs.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
