If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
