A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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