hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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