In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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