you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
