Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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