If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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