Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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