my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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