from now on my penis is your penis
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
