Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Be still, my beating vagina.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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