About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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