If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
