and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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