Can Purell be used as lube?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
