I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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