no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
