His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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