I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my shit smells like andre
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
