I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
