Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
