Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
