My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
