I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
