At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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