Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
