I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
