That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
