I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
