I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
