I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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