She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
