I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
