Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
