I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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