idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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