I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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