I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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