some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
