I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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