i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.