he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
