I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
