Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
