all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
