is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
