I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
