I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
