dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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