I love black thongs
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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