It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
