he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
