What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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