This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
