hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
