If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
